So You Want To Play College Soccer? - When You’re Ghosted by a Coach, Here’s What to Do Next!

What level can you really play at? Find out for Free!

February 08, 2026

Welcome to our essential weekly blog series on college recruitment! Whether you're just beginning your journey or are already deep into the process, this series is designed with you in mind. We'll delve into crucial topics like crafting an impressive highlight video, developing a strategic college list, and mastering the art of securing scholarships. Regardless of where you stand, our series is filled with essential tips and guidance to propel you towards success. Join us every week as we equip you with the insights and tools necessary to confidently navigate the recruitment landscape. 

In Today’s Edition

  • When You’re Ghosted by a Coach, Here’s What to Do Next!

  • No more BS! What level can you really play at? Find out for Free!

🚨When You’re Ghosted by a Coach, Here’s What to Do Next

Imagine this.

You get an email from a college coach who came to your showcase. Your heart races as you read, “Enjoyed Watching You Play.” Finally, all your hard work is paying off. You quickly craft a polite, enthusiastic reply, double-checking every word, and hit send with a mix of nerves and excitement.

Then… silence.

Days pass. Nothing. You send another follow-up, reminding them of your initial email, your interest, and even including some recent achievements. Still nothing. By the third email, doubt creeps in. Am I annoying them? Am I not good enough? The silence feels like rejection.

Here’s the truth you need to hear: silence doesn’t mean you’re annoying, and it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. More often than not, it reflects the coach’s busy schedule. And when done well, follow-ups are not annoying; they’re helpful.

Why Does This Happen?

Being ghosted by a coach can feel personal, but it’s often not about you. Here are some common reasons why it might happen:

  1. Coaches Are Overwhelmed:
    College coaches receive hundreds of emails every week, especially during peak recruiting seasons. Between games, practices, travel, and administrative duties, it’s easy for even the most promising emails to get buried.

  2. Recruiting Timelines Shift:
    Coaches may be waiting to see how other recruits respond before making decisions. If you’re not their top priority at the moment, they might delay responding until they have a clearer picture of their roster needs.

  3. They’re Evaluating You Further:
    Silence doesn’t always mean disinterest. Sometimes, coaches are taking time to watch more of your games, review your highlight reel, or even reach out to your club coach for feedback.

  4. Program Needs Change:
    Recruiting needs can shift unexpectedly due to injuries, transfers, or other roster changes. A coach who seemed interested initially might have to pivot their focus to other positions.

What Can You Do About It?

Being ghosted doesn’t mean the door is closed. Here’s how to handle it:

  1. Stay Calm and Patient:
    Silence is frustrating, but it’s not a reason to panic. Give the coach some time before following up. A good rule of thumb is to wait 7-10 days after your initial email before sending a polite follow-up.

  2. Make Your Follow-Ups Count:
    Avoid generic emails. Instead, add value by including updates on your progress, recent achievements, or a personal connection to their program. For example:

    • “I recently scored two goals in our ECNL showcase and wanted to share the highlight video with you.”

    • “I noticed your team had a great win against [opponent]. Congratulations! I’d love the opportunity to contribute to your program in the future.”

  3. Leverage Your Network:
    Ask your club or high school coach to reach out on your behalf. A strong reference from someone the college coach trusts can make a big difference.

  4. Keep Building Your Resume:
    Use the silence as motivation to keep improving. Update your highlight reel, attend showcases, and continue to develop your skills. Coaches notice players who show consistent growth.

  5. Expand Your Options:
    If one coach isn’t responding, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Reach out to other programs that align with your goals. The more opportunities you create, the better your chances of finding the right fit.

  6. Be Professional and Positive:
    No matter how frustrated you feel, always keep your communication polite and professional. Coaches value players who handle adversity with maturity.

Why Follow-Ups Feel Scary (and Why You Should Do Them Anyway)

It’s normal to feel hesitant about following up. Here’s how to reframe those fears:

  • “I don’t want to seem desperate.”
    Persistence isn’t desperation. Thoughtful, spaced-out follow-ups show you care about the opportunity, not that you’re chasing it out of panic.

  • “I’m not good enough.”
    Follow-ups aren’t about proving perfection. They’re about showing growth, commitment, and coachability—qualities that matter more than raw talent.

  • “My emails don’t add value.”
    Generic emails might not stand out, but personalized updates and genuine interest in the program make your outreach memorable.

  • “I’m wasting their time.”
    Coaches are busy, but follow-ups can remind them of players who have the initiative and discipline to communicate effectively. That’s a trait every team values.

The Key to Effective Follow-Ups

Stay patient but persistent. Use follow-ups to show growth, gratitude, and genuine interest. Coaches notice resilience and effort.

When done well, a follow-up says, “I’m serious, I’m improving, and I won’t quit.” That determination might just set you apart.

Remember, this process is a marathon, not a sprint. Keep showing up, and one day, that email will come.

⚽ Do You Have the Resume to Play D1 Soccer? Find out for Free!

Do You Have the Resume to Play D1 Soccer?

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We’ll help you unlock the answer for free. Want to see how your Recruiting Score (CSN Number) stacks up against all Northeast D1 schools?

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About: Steve Coxon College Soccer Network

Steve has 20 years of college-level experience, 17+ years in D1 as the Head Recruiter. He has facilitated more than $30 million in college scholarships.

Location - Connecticut, USA