So You Want To Play College Soccer? - Should Parents Communicate with College Coaches?

24 female athletes have already verbally committed to 11 top programs for 2027.

August 10, 2025

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Welcome to our essential daily blog series on college recruitment! Whether you're just beginning your journey or are already deep into the process, this series is designed with you in mind. We'll delve into crucial topics like crafting an impressive highlight video, developing a strategic college list, and mastering the art of securing scholarships. Regardless of where you stand, our series is filled with essential tips and guidance to propel you towards success. Join us every week as we equip you with the insights and tools necessary to confidently navigate the recruitment landscape. 

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In Today’s Edition

  • Should Parents Communicate with College Coaches?

  • Stop Wasting Time and Money on the Wrong Schools! What’s your CSN #?

Should Parents Communicate with College Coaches?

Navigating the college athletic recruiting process can be an exciting yet complex time for student-athletes and their families. Parents play a crucial role in this process, offering support, guidance, and insight along the way. However, when it comes to interacting with college coaches, it’s essential for parents to step back and allow their student-athlete to take the lead—especially during initial communications. Coaches want to connect directly with recruits, and over-involvement from parents can hurt the athlete's chances rather than help them.

This guide focuses on why parents shouldn’t email or call coaches on behalf of their athlete during the early stages, and how they can provide meaningful support from behind the scenes.

The Importance of Athlete-Led Communication

When college coaches evaluate recruits, they aren’t just looking at athletic ability—they’re also gauging maturity, independence, and communication skills. Early interactions, such as emails, phone calls, or meetings, are a chance for coaches to see who the athlete is beyond their athletic performance.

Sending emails or answering phone calls on behalf of the athlete may send the wrong message about the recruit's ability to handle responsibilities on their own. Coaches might assume the athlete lacks initiative or readiness to transition into a collegiate environment, where personal accountability is key.

Why Coaches Want to Hear Directly from Athletes

  1. Building Genuine Relationships: College recruiting is about relationships, and coaches want an authentic connection with the student-athlete they may invite onto their team. They need to see the athlete’s personality, enthusiasm, and ability to engage in meaningful conversations.

  2. Showcasing Independence: Leaving home and joining a college team requires a certain level of maturity and self-reliance. Athletes who can confidently communicate directly with coaches demonstrate they’re prepared for this next step.

  3. Evaluating Interest: Coaches assess not only an athlete’s abilities but also their genuine interest in the program. Communication directly from the student conveys passion and commitment. If a parent takes over, it may appear that the athlete isn’t invested in the process.

Why Parents Shouldn't Email or Call Coaches During Initial Contact

It can be tempting for parents to step in, especially if their athlete is shy or nervous. However, here’s why avoiding direct communication during initial contact is essential:

  • Coaches Will Notice: College coaches know the difference between an email written by an athlete and one that’s crafted by a parent. Forced or overly polished language can stand out, and it may lower the coach’s interest in the recruit.

  • First Impressions Matter: How an athlete initiates communication sets the tone for the entire recruiting process. If a parent takes the lead, it signals a lack of independence or confidence on the part of the athlete.

  • Parents Can Overstep Boundaries: Jumping into conversations too early—such as asking about scholarships or team details—can give a coach the impression that the family is overly demanding or has misplaced priorities.

How Parents Can Support Behind the Scenes

While parents shouldn’t speak for their athlete, they can serve as a powerful support system by being involved in preparation and strategy. Here’s how parents can contribute meaningfully without overstepping.

1. Helping Write the First Email

The first email to a college coach can feel daunting for a student-athlete. Parents can help by brainstorming key points, proofreading drafts, and ensuring the message is professional and clear. However, the email should be sent directly from the athlete’s account.

Tip: Teach your athlete to introduce themselves, highlight their athletic and academic achievements, and express why they’re interested in the program.

2. Practicing Phone Conversations

For athletes who are nervous about talking on the phone, parents can role-play as the coach to help them build confidence. Practice sessions allow the athlete to get comfortable framing questions and discussing their goals.

Suggestion: Prepare a list of potential questions for the athlete to ask, such as details about the team’s culture, training schedule, or academic support.

3. Offering Encouragement

It’s normal for athletes to feel intimidated during their first interactions with college coaches. Parents can provide encouragement by reminding their child that coaches aren't looking for perfection—they’re looking for authenticity and effort.

4. Researching Recruiting Rules

Parents can take an active role by understanding NCAA recruiting rules and timelines to ensure their child doesn’t unintentionally violate any regulations. Sharing this information helps the athlete know when and how to approach coaches within the allowed framework.

5. Keeping the Focus on the Athlete

Parents can guide their student to personalize each interaction, whether through emails, phone calls, or campus visits. This approach helps show genuine interest and sets the athlete apart in the eyes of the coach.

When Parents Should Get Involved

While parents should not take the lead early in the process, there are key moments where their input and involvement become necessary. These include:

  • Campus Visits: Visits are a natural time for parents to meet with coaches and discuss topics such as scholarships, financial aid, facilities, and housing. During these visits, parents can ask logistical and financial questions but should still allow the student-athlete to take charge of the overall conversation.

  • Scholarship Discussions: Once a scholarship offer is presented, parents can step in to clarify details, such as whether the scholarship covers tuition, housing, or meal plans. It’s appropriate for parents to ensure financial clarity, as this decision affects the family as a whole.

  • Post-Relationship Building: After the athlete has established a connection with the coach, parents can contribute by asking broader family-oriented questions. For example, concerns about campus safety, academic support, or the integration of student-athletes into the school’s culture are worthwhile topics for parents to bring up.

Strategies for Parents to Stay Supportive

Navigating the recruiting process is a team effort, but parents should emphasize their role as a guide rather than a spokesperson. Here are strategies for maintaining the proper balance between involvement and independence.

Encourage Independence

Remind your athlete that this is their journey. By giving them space to ask questions and make decisions, parents empower the student-athlete to grow as an individual.

Focus on Empowerment

Instead of stepping in, create opportunities for your athlete to step up. For example, encourage them to draft their own communication with coaches or conduct their own research on schools.

Be Available Without Overstepping

Make it clear to your athlete that you’re there to support and advise them, but respect their autonomy in leading interactions with coaches.

Final Thoughts

The recruiting process is an exciting milestone in a student-athlete’s life, and parents play a vital role in ensuring its success. By staying supportive from behind the scenes and knowing when not to step in, parents help their student-athletes shine in front of college coaches.

Remember, early communication is about building trust and showcasing the athlete’s unique personality, skills, and passion. When parents avoid taking over and instead focus on empowering their children, they set the foundation for a positive recruiting experience and long-term success. The right balance of support and independence ensures that everyone—parents, athletes, and coaches—feels confident moving forward.

🎯 Stop Wasting Time and Money on the Wrong Schools!

What’s your CSN #?

What is a CSN #?

Your CSN # is the key to understanding which colleges are the perfect fit for your athletic and academic profile. It’s a precise measure that helps identify schools that recruit players with your unique resume and skills.

🚨 24 female athletes have already committed to top colleges for the class of 2027, with CSN Numbers ranging from 35 to 90. (Notably, Penn State’s average recruit is ranked 70 for 2027, putting them in first place in the Northeast!)

We've developed an algorithm that accurately predicts the types of schools that will recruit you based on your personal CSN number and each college’s CSN profile. 

Want to join them? Knowing your CSN # puts you on the path to achieving your college athletics goals and finding a school that values you.

📊 Discover where YOU stand and uncover the best opportunities waiting for you.

The CSN # (College Soccer Network Number) is your personalized recruiting tool to focus your efforts on the right colleges.

Why Get Your CSN?

✅ Target Schools with Laser Focus
Identify colleges that recruit players with similar profiles.

✅ Save Time and Money
Avoid camps and schools that aren’t a fit.

✅ Data-Driven Recruiting
Understand where you stand and what to aim for.

Take Control of Your Journey

Sign up for your CSN # today and focus on schools that match your soccer resume.

👉 Click here to activate your CSN # for just $19.99 and start targeting the right schools today! After you purchase, you'll get an email from us requesting a bit of information—once received, we'll send you your personalized number within 24 hours.

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About: Steve Coxon College Soccer Network

Steve has 20 years of college-level experience, 17+ years in D1 as the Head Recruiter. He has facilitated more than $30 million in college scholarships.

Location - Connecticut, USA