So You Want To Play College Soccer? - When You’re Ghosted by a Coach, Here’s What to Do Next

29 female athletes have recently committed to top North East colleges for the class of 2027

September 07, 2025

Welcome to our essential weekly blog series on college recruitment! Whether you're just beginning your journey or are already deep into the process, this series is designed with you in mind. We'll delve into crucial topics like crafting an impressive highlight video, developing a strategic college list, and mastering the art of securing scholarships. Regardless of where you stand, our series is filled with essential tips and guidance to propel you towards success. Join us every week as we equip you with the insights and tools necessary to confidently navigate the recruitment landscape. 

In Today’s Edition

  • When You’re Ghosted by a Coach, Here’s What to Do Next!

  • Stop Wasting Time and Money on the Wrong Schools! What’s your CSN Score?

When You’re Ghosted by a Coach, Here’s What to Do Next!

Imagine this scene. You receive an email from a college coach who saw you play. Your heart races as you read the subject line: “Enjoyed Watching You Play at PDA.” It feels like all your hard work, the extra training sessions, and the weekend tournaments are finally paying off. You carefully write a polite and enthusiastic reply, checking every word before hitting send with a mix of nerves and excitement.

Then… silence.

Days turn into a week. Nothing. You send a follow-up email, gently reminding them of your interest and maybe including a recent highlight or academic achievement. Still nothing. By the third attempt, doubt begins to creep in. Are you being annoying? Are you not good enough? The silence can feel like a direct rejection, leaving you deflated and questioning your abilities.

Here is a truth every aspiring college athlete needs to hear: a coach's silence is rarely about you. More often than not, it reflects the hectic and overwhelming nature of their job. When done correctly, follow-up emails are not annoying; they are helpful and demonstrate the exact qualities coaches look for.

Why Do Follow-Ups Feel So Scary?

If following up is a good thing, why does it feel so intimidating? The fear is real and stems from common insecurities that many athletes face during the recruitment process.

“I don’t want to seem desperate.”

There's a fine line between persistence and desperation, and many players worry about crossing it. The fear is that multiple emails make you look needy or like you have no other options. But there's a major difference. Desperation is frantic and unfocused. Persistence is strategic, patient, and professional. A thoughtfully spaced and genuine follow-up shows you are serious about the opportunity, not that you're chasing it out of panic.

“Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

Putting yourself out there is an act of vulnerability. When you don’t get a response, it’s easy for your inner critic to take over and tell you that you lack the talent. However, the recruitment process is not just a search for raw talent. Coaches are building a team, and they look for players who demonstrate commitment, growth, and coachability. Your follow-ups are not about proving you are a perfect player; they are about showing you have the character to succeed.

“My emails don’t add any value.”

A common mistake is sending generic emails that say, “Just checking in.” This kind of message doesn’t give the coach a reason to respond. An effective follow-up adds value. It provides new information, shares a relevant update, or makes a personal connection to their program. When your email gives the coach something new to consider, it becomes a valuable piece of communication, not just another message in their crowded inbox.

“I’m wasting their time.”

The reality is quite the opposite. You are not wasting their time; you are helping them do their job. College coaches are managing dozens, if not hundreds, of recruits at any given time. They are juggling scouting, team management, travel, and administrative tasks. A polite follow-up can serve as a welcome reminder, bringing your name back to the top of their list. It shows you have the initiative and discipline to communicate effectively—a trait every coach values.

The Art of the Effective Follow-Up: Actionable Advice

So, how do you follow up without feeling like you’re being a pest? It comes down to strategy, timing, and content.

1. Lead with Gratitude and Genuine Interest

Always start your communication from a place of respect. In your initial follow-up, thank the coach for their time or for watching you play. Reiterate your specific interest in their program. Mention something you admire about their team’s style of play, the university’s academic offerings, or the campus culture. This shows you’ve done your homework and are not just sending out mass emails.

2. Provide New and Valuable Information

Each follow-up should have a purpose. Instead of just "checking in," provide a tangible update.

  • New Highlight Video: "I wanted to share a short video from my game this past weekend."

  • Academic Achievements: "I’m excited to share that I received my latest report card and achieved a 3.8 GPA."

  • Updated Schedule: "My team will be playing in the [Tournament Name] next month, and I’ve attached my schedule in case you are attending."

  • A Personal Note: "I saw your team had a great win against [Opponent Name] last night. The game-winning goal was fantastic."

This approach turns your email from a question ("Have you seen my email?") into a statement ("Here is another reason to consider me.").

3. Keep it Professional and Concise

Coaches are busy people who appreciate clarity. Keep your emails short, well-organized, and easy to read. Use a clear subject line, such as "Follow-Up: [Your Name], [Position], [Grad Year]." Write in a professional tone, use proper grammar, and avoid slang. A clean, concise email respects the coach’s time and makes you look mature and organized.

4. Understand the Right Timing

Patience is a virtue in the recruiting process. Bombarding a coach with daily emails will backfire. A good rule of thumb is to wait at least one to two weeks between follow-ups. If it’s a particularly busy time for them, like during their competitive season, you might wait even longer. This shows you respect their schedule while still maintaining contact.

The Power of Persistence

The key to navigating the recruitment journey is to remain patient but persistent. Use every follow-up as an opportunity to demonstrate your growth, express your gratitude, and convey your genuine interest. Coaches notice resilience and effort. They want players who can handle adversity, stay positive, and continue to work hard even when things don’t go their way.

When done well, a follow-up email says, “I’m serious about this. I’m constantly improving. And I won’t quit.” That determination is often the very thing that sets you apart from other talented players. Keep showing up, keep improving, and keep communicating. One day, that response will come.

Get Expert Guidance for Your Soccer Journey

Have more questions about the recruitment process? Don’t tackle them alone. Schedule a free 15-minute Zoom call with Steve who can provide you with personalized support and a clear direction forward.

Join us as we empower you to take charge of your recruitment and turn your dreams into reality

🎯 Stop Wasting Time and Money on the Wrong Schools! What’s your CSN Score?

Your CSN # is the key to understanding which colleges are the perfect fit for your athletic and academic profile. It’s a precise measure that helps identify schools that recruit players with your unique resume and skills.

🚨 29 female athletes have recently committed to top North East colleges for the class of 2027, with CSN Numbers ranging from 30 to 70. (Schools such as Syracuse, Cornell and Penn State have probably already filled their 2027 rosters!)

We've developed an algorithm that accurately predicts the types of schools that will recruit you based on your personal CSN number and each college’s CSN profile. 

Want to join them? Knowing your CSN # puts you on the path to achieving your college athletics goals and finding a school that values you.

📊 Discover where YOU stand and uncover the best opportunities waiting for you.

The CSN # (College Soccer Network Number) is your personalized recruiting tool to focus your efforts on the right colleges.

Why Get Your CSN?

✅ Target Schools with Laser Focus
Identify colleges that recruit players with similar profiles.

✅ Save Time and Money
Avoid camps and schools that aren’t a fit.

✅ Data-Driven Recruiting
Understand where you stand and what to aim for.

Take Control of Your Journey

Sign up for your CSN # today and focus on schools that match your soccer resume.

👉 Click here to activate your CSN # and start targeting the right schools today! After you purchase, you'll get an email from us requesting a bit of information—once received, we'll send you your personalized number within 24 hours.

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About: Steve Coxon College Soccer Network

Steve has 20 years of college-level experience, 17+ years in D1 as the Head Recruiter. He has facilitated more than $30 million in college scholarships.

Location - Connecticut, USA