Why 90% of your recruiting emails are going straight to the trash!
By Steve
Before we get into it: massive congratulations to three of our clients who officially committed this week to UPENN, Holy Cross, and the University of Nevada. Do you know what none of those three players did to get recruited? They didn't use the "Spray and Pray" method.
If you are spending your weekends firing off dozens of emails to college coaches and hearing nothing but crickets in return, you are likely falling into this exact trap. Players copy and paste the exact same generic email to 100 different programs, cross their fingers, and wait to be discovered.
It does not work.
Matthew Doherty recently wrote an excellent piece in the New England Soccer Journal breaking down exactly what happens when your email hits a coach's inbox. He interviewed five top New England college coaches across D1 and D3 programs—including Fairfield, UNH, Tufts, and Bates.
The consensus was brutal, honest, and exactly what you need to hear. Here is why you are being ignored, straight from the coaches themselves, and exactly how to fix it before you hit "send" again.
🚩 The 3 Fatal Red Flags
When a college coach is staring at an inbox with 200 unread recruiting emails, they are looking for a reason to hit delete. Do not give them one of these three.
1. The "Mass BCC" and the "Reply All" If you BCC a list of 50 coaches, they know. If you put the entire coaching staff in the "To" line, they delete it. Fairfield women’s coach David Barrett and Endicott women’s coach Lauren Pien both highlighted this as a massive red flag. When you mass-email, you are telling the coach that their program isn't special to you; they are just a lottery ticket. Personalize every single email.
2. The Helicopter Parent College coaches are recruiting the player, not the parent. UNH women’s coach Steve Welham made this crystal clear:
"While it is OK sometimes for a parent or coach to do the initial outreach, we truly want to hear from the player. We are looking for players to take accountability during this process." Parents: you can help proofread, but you must step back and let your kid manage the communication.
3. Pitching the Wrong Fit If you email a coach about how much you want to study engineering at their school, and they don't have an engineering department, your email goes in the trash. The same goes for your GPA. If you have a 2.5 GPA and you are emailing a high-academic NESCAC school, it shows you haven't done your homework.
🎯 The "3-Second Rule" Fix
You have about three seconds to grab a coach's attention. Make it short, punchy, and highly efficient.
As Kyle Dezotell, head coach of D3 National Champion Tufts, points out, many top programs use email in reverse. They see you play at an ID camp or showcase first, and then they search their inbox for your name to find your academic data and schedule.
If your email is a 500-word essay about your love for the game with your GPA buried at the bottom, they will move on.
Every single email must include this checklist at the very top:
The Basics: Name, Grad Year, Position
The Academics: High School and GPA
The Soccer: Full Club Name, Level, and Jersey Number
The Tape: A short (3 to 5 minute) highlight video link
The Schedule: Your upcoming tournament details (Date, field, time, opponent)
If you want to go the extra mile, Bates women’s coach Joe Vari suggests adding exactly one authentic sentence about why you specifically want to go to that school. (e.g., "I am looking for a small liberal arts school, and my family used to vacation in Maine.")
Clarity beats creativity every single time. Give them the facts, give them the film, and let your play do the rest.
P.S. Whenever you are ready to stop guessing and start getting actual replies from coaches, I have put everything you need into one place:
Unlock The Complete Recruiting Bundle ($29/month, cancel anytime): Stop wasting time on the wrong schools and the wrong emails. For just $29 a month, you get full access to BOTH of my premium recruiting platforms to manage your entire journey:
Platform 1: The Private Skool Community: Have a specific question about a coach's response? Need someone to review your highlight video before you send it? Drop it in our private community and get direct, daily feedback from me.
Platform 2: The Player Portal: Grab my proven, fill-in-the-blank email templates that actually get opened. Input your exact GPA and position to instantly generate a list of "Perfect Fit" schools. Centralize your data, track College Commitments, and find the right ID Clinics to attend so you stop wasting money.
Get instant access to both platforms here: https://stevecoxonsoccernetwork.collegeprospector.com
About: Steve Coxon College Soccer Network
Steve has 20 years of college-level experience, 17+ years in D1 as the Head Recruiter. He has facilitated more than $30 million in college scholarships.
Location - Connecticut, USA
